Monday, April 30, 2007

Me And Jesus. Jesus And Me.


Chaylene has impregnated my blog with a meme and she didn't even touch me.

If Jesus came a knockin' on my door one day, what would you do?

Well, I suppose I'd ask Him what's up? He did knock on my door. I'd hope His answer would be that He's just looking to hang out. I'd be pretty disappointed if He needed to use my phone, or bathroom, but He might. I might be a tad suspicious. Those close to Him had a rough time of it. I'm not looking for any trouble.

I suppose I'd invite Him in, offer Him a diet pepsi, ask if He was hungry or anything.

Hopefully, he would have time to sit down and talk. We'd probably have alot in common. We're both white-guys, living with our Dads, in the suburbs.

I'd have some questions for him, like why is egg nog only sold during Xmas and Easter? Has He ever been to Utah? Are You the same being as God, or are you two different people? How He ended up being a man and not a woman? Who's living in purgatory now? Why couldn't the Bears have won the Superbowl? What's He got against the Cubs. If He was starting a basketball team and could choose any players from history, who would be His starting five. You know, the important stuff.

After all my questions had been answered, maybe we could go for a walk. Or take the kids to the park. Maybe He could do some babysitting for me.

Most likely He meant to go to 333 West First street (not 333 East First street) which is a dentists office down the street. It's a common mistake, and we get alot of their mail. But the directions can be tricky, First street becomes one-way heading east when you wanna go west, as you approach downtown Elmhurst. So you gotta take a right at York, left at Schiller, and another left on Addison which will lead you back to First and you can continue west. It will be on your right.

Bye, Jesus.

10 comments:

Chaylene said...

That picture is hilarious! I can't wait until Jim gets home to see it.

I'm willing to bet Jesus would much rather hang out with you than go the dentist.

Chaylene said...

Oh, also:

http://pantagraph.com/articles/2007/05/01/news/doc463780315babb084175114.txt


(I have no idea how to make that a clickable link)

michelevil said...

I think Jesus prefers Diet Coke.

dirty said...

haha...That was cute.

I think Jesus would be a great babysitter!

And I second that Diet Coke statement...it is seriously the better beverage.

Flannery Alden said...

I'd be interested to find out what he thinks of Utah too.

Anonymous said...

Nice Phil, seeing your address, my office is a mere seven-eight blocks away from you (Elmhurst College) although I am not able to babysit nor perform miracles, so maybe not as cool as Jesus stopping by...

Ahlberg

Natalie said...

That is absolutely hilarious what a great post.

Grant Miller said...

God bless!

Doc said...

Would it be wrong to offer him a beer?

Doc

Phil said...

Doc - He might prefer wine, but I think he probably would enjoy a beer too.