Wednesday, August 09, 2006

The Wife 1, Phil 0

I found my pants.

About a year ago I spent some $600 on a new suit for my sister-in-laws wedding. It was too much to spend but I hadn't bought a new suit in at least 15 years. The last time was somewhere around '91.

I needed a new one.

This is a Calvin Klein, all wool, single-breasted, three button suit. Black. New tie, shirt, shoes, and what the hell, throw on some suspender buttons and I'll take those suspenders there. Sweet. I wore the suit at the wedding. I looked good. I don't wear them often but I do like wearing them.

I got my $600 worth.

Fast forward to about a month ago...

I'm cleaning out my closet. I have been for awhile. Slowly sending stuff to Goodwill. Taking other items to the cleaners so they are ready when I need them.

As I'm organizing I wonder, where are the pants for my suit? Hmm...

I look through my closet, my dresser drawers. No pants.

I ask The Wife, "Have you seen the pants for my suit?"

"No."

I ask my Mother and Father, whom we share the house with. No luck. We all go through the house, room by room, floor by floor. NO FRICKIN' PANTS!

Did I get my $600 worth?

I start grilling The Wife. "Are you sure
you didn't see them anywhere? Perhaps while cleaning? Moving them to and fro. You put alot of boxes in the attic awhile ago."

"I didn't lose your pants."

"Of course you didn't. But... It's happened before. As people clean they move things and sometimes they get moved somewhere hard to find. Somewhere you wouldn't expect to find it."

Why is she always moving my stuff anyway? Isn't where I left it as good a place as any? Goddamnit! The pants are gone and I know she did something with them.

"I didn't lose your pants."

"Of course you didn't.

And now I'm angry. I got 1 wearing out of this suit. It's ruined because the pants are gone.

I did not get my $600 worth.

As is often the case when we get angry, I take it out on those closest to me. I sulk around the house, all but accusing The Wife of losing my pants.

Well, yesterday as I was going through my closet looking for clothes for the cleaners, I pull a wrinkled shirt off a hanger and what do I find under it?

My pants.

I lost the pants.

And I found the pants. Exactly where I left them. In my closet. It was my fault all along. I am thankful and humbled. I'm a jerk.

2 comments:

Team Brennan said...

You guys ARE jerks, but we love you anyway. And vice versa, come to think of it. Ah, marriage...

Brian said...

Phil-- as I mentioned to you at work tonight, every married couple has that moment. My wife moves things saying she is just straightening up. Of course, in a three bedroom apartment, the "straightened up" items can be anywhere. We had some issues for a while. 9 times out of ten when something of mine was missing, she'd moved it. That one in ten, though, made me feel like an ass.

While I was visiting my folks a couple of weeks ago, found out my mother does the same thing to my father. It somehow never came up in the first 45 years of their marriage-- somehow it became an issue lately, around their 46th anniversary.